thank you.

And another year passed. Everything is new, and so is me.
"somethings never change", they say. The mirror was the proof.

The pain that my eyes reflected and crystals of tears are still unchanged. 
    but Dear World, 
        look deeper.

My eyes now reflect the joy of being hurt, the happiness of falling apart and the delight of surviving the times which seemed endless. Peeking into past, I see scars- proving how far I've moved. There were smiles that i deserved and times when i was just Satan's play doll.
But see, i am happy; 'cuz i am alive. Still perplexed, wasting my life running in search of spare i worth. 



But yeah, happy in this mess and a bit satisfied. 
2k17 will see a different me. I am all set to walk on new adventure and unrevealed new experiences. 

Soothing all my bruises, packing up my bag, tightening my shoe lace, here i stand to travel in time once again; but this time, to a bright future.

Dear 2k17,
 ready to bear new storms;
 ready to face stronger me?

~Varia xoxo

yk the times you got some ppl to your life and you get into them so so much that you never wanna leave them ever.
Some ppl whom you don't even know and who don't know you, but still you guys become friends.
There are such persons in your life that you find at some point in your life who are miles and miles away from you but still fathom you better than someone 'sooo' close to you.



If you've got such friends whom you could say how bad your day was, w/ whom your secrets are no more secrets, w/ whom you could talk 'bout your broken heart, moreover the broken you.

They heal every edge of you.

Such idiots are love! <3

They are masterpieces born to fix every ripped part of your life and fill your memories w/ giggles.



They are the angels God had sent to you.
They are some like lucky charms!
Someone calm like a cloud, gorgeous like crystals and precious as guinea pig! ahaha!!

To all such beautiful hearts existing out there, thank you!

To all those pretty 'donuts' who smiled while reading this, you it was for YOU!

idk where I'd have been w/o you. Anyways, what matters is where I am.
I am here, smiling, and still standing 'cuz of you.



Thanks for letting me know I am beautiful 😉
Happy birthday, love 😘
~Varia 😄 xoxo

The broken hearts are flying high.

On the clouds up in the sky.

No worries.

Nobody care's now.

The world highlighted their flaws, so they turned it into their peculiarities and walked out of the crowd.
The faults and faiths meant no shit.

What matters now is to save the rest of your 'uncut' skin.

What matters is to throw that blade.

What matters is the moment you realize your worth and standing in front of mirror, you don't regret your existence.


Like all the homo sapiens sapiens, he too, had a way.

           A way to escape.
                       to escape from this world
                                       from this world and be free..



The white fumes in the air uncleared the view and gave him a venture to breath.
The fumes steadily traveled down his 'tunnel' occupying every of his lungs.

It was killing him, but the death was more alive than ever.

Every night, he thrived for the time to lock himself in the room, shut all the lights and to light his own world bright w/ smoke.

Those 3 hrs-out w/ death and life, forgetting all the pains and living on the moment and witnessing the queer conversation to a diary entry.

He's a chainsmoker; who flew all the worries far to a space unknown.

But the reports couldn't hold on the interludes. 

Those 3 hrs. were no more hidden.

3 yrs. later, he spent 3 hrs daily at the hospital.

All the lovable talks w/ death and the fire and night, had now turned to bootless counselling, painful treatments and bitter ointments.




But every night, when the lights went off and everybody slipped to their sheets; again when the moon arrived at the top of his head, he lighted his own world bright w/ smoke. 

Somewhere from his 'evidenced' diary, he picked up a cigarette and lighted it to gain some life. 

Hawking a cigarette and sitting near the window, his diary once again witnessed their conversation.

He is a chainsmoker; fluttering their every hope w/ smoke.




8 yrs. later, he lied still in a box.

The blooming flowers over his corpse.

Everybody standing in black, praying for him to the mains above.

They all giving fake speeches 'bout friendships and relations. 

He stood near his grave-smoking- talking w/ death and life-laughing, how fake the world is.

He was a chainsmoker; gone to a place from where he came.


~VARIA xoxo

"They are coming." The scared child said. His eyes reflecting the fear of his past.

"It's okay if they'll come. We are ready.

It's okay if they'll come again. Don't be scared, my boy.
They'll throw stones to break our homes; but we'll stay together. And we will fight. We'll fight back to win.
Let them come.
We are prepared; for the worst to come-it can't ruin our lives more.
We have no thing to loose; but the world to win.
Don't be scared, children.Your fearful past will be your weapon.



That pain will ruin them now. They can't climb up our walls. They will find no ladder to this place, ever.
The Almighty is w/ us. The war is here and soon the dawn will be too. We'll win-sooner or later, but we'll."
said the Queen, with fire to burn the evils ahead and the warmth to fight and stand on the victory mountain.
She knew they'll win, despite of the oblations.

She knew they'll reach there, though in pieces but yeah, they'll reach and she knew it.


~Varia xoxo

My friends said no.

They told me he's bad.

They warned me not to play.

But gambling w/ fire has been in my blood.

I was the Queen of my life. So I did what my heart told me to.

For my friends, I was still the girl who don't give a damn to guys. But it was too tough to hold on the spark that run in my body, when our eyes hook up in the middle of the class.

Heading down to my desk, I'd be checking him out for those seven minutes I got- his beard dripping elixir and his cheeks showing grace.
And when he runs his hand through his hair, I'd be gasping and pinching myself, to held on the overflowing thunder his one move generated in me.



I knew he felt the same.

I knew the fire was in him too.

"You've got an amazayn chance to boost up your score, gurrl!!"
somebody told me when I disclosed 'bout him.

I took it to be God's indications.

I let myself fall for him.

I broke the walls.

I cut the ropes and sailed the ship.

Slowly but soon, the glances changed to smiles and giggles. Talking in eyes, we told each other so many things w/o even spelling a word out of our lips. Finding ways to chatter at least once, became our daily goals.

I could feel the warmth in his soul while talking to him.

I could see the volcanoes burning in his eyes. His every touch burst love to every inch of my meat.

In the class, we sat two rows apart, but our souls dived into the oceans of love so deep that we lost ourselves in each others' eyes.

Soon the lil' talks changed to long texts. Moving 'round the whole school w/ bangs under my eyes but still smile on my lips was as mysterious to them, as he was to me.

We got to know more 'bout each other.
We enrolled ourselves deeper into this.



Don't know when long texts changed to rendezvous and when I got my wits, I found myself running my hand through his hair and loosing myself into his eyes.

~Varia xoxo