And another year passed. Everything is new, and so is me.
"somethings never change", they say. The mirror was the proof.

The pain that my eyes reflected and crystals of tears are still unchanged. 
    but Dear World, 
        look deeper.

My eyes now reflect the joy of being hurt, the happiness of falling apart and the delight of surviving the times which seemed endless. Peeking into past, I see scars- proving how far I've moved. There were smiles that i deserved and times when i was just Satan's play doll.
But see, i am happy; 'cuz i am alive. Still perplexed, wasting my life running in search of spare i worth. 



But yeah, happy in this mess and a bit satisfied. 
2k17 will see a different me. I am all set to walk on new adventure and unrevealed new experiences. 

Soothing all my bruises, packing up my bag, tightening my shoe lace, here i stand to travel in time once again; but this time, to a bright future.

Dear 2k17,
 ready to bear new storms;
 ready to face stronger me?

~Varia xoxo

yk the times you got some ppl to your life and you get into them so so much that you never wanna leave them ever.
Some ppl whom you don't even know and who don't know you, but still you guys become friends.
There are such persons in your life that you find at some point in your life who are miles and miles away from you but still fathom you better than someone 'sooo' close to you.



If you've got such friends whom you could say how bad your day was, w/ whom your secrets are no more secrets, w/ whom you could talk 'bout your broken heart, moreover the broken you.

They heal every edge of you.

Such idiots are love! <3

They are masterpieces born to fix every ripped part of your life and fill your memories w/ giggles.



They are the angels God had sent to you.
They are some like lucky charms!
Someone calm like a cloud, gorgeous like crystals and precious as guinea pig! ahaha!!

To all such beautiful hearts existing out there, thank you!

To all those pretty 'donuts' who smiled while reading this, you it was for YOU!

idk where I'd have been w/o you. Anyways, what matters is where I am.
I am here, smiling, and still standing 'cuz of you.



Thanks for letting me know I am beautiful 😉
Happy birthday, love 😘
~Varia 😄 xoxo

The broken hearts are flying high.

On the clouds up in the sky.

No worries.

Nobody care's now.

The world highlighted their flaws, so they turned it into their peculiarities and walked out of the crowd.
The faults and faiths meant no shit.

What matters now is to save the rest of your 'uncut' skin.

What matters is to throw that blade.

What matters is the moment you realize your worth and standing in front of mirror, you don't regret your existence.


Like all the homo sapiens sapiens, he too, had a way.

           A way to escape.
                       to escape from this world
                                       from this world and be free..



The white fumes in the air uncleared the view and gave him a venture to breath.
The fumes steadily traveled down his 'tunnel' occupying every of his lungs.

It was killing him, but the death was more alive than ever.

Every night, he thrived for the time to lock himself in the room, shut all the lights and to light his own world bright w/ smoke.

Those 3 hrs-out w/ death and life, forgetting all the pains and living on the moment and witnessing the queer conversation to a diary entry.

He's a chainsmoker; who flew all the worries far to a space unknown.

But the reports couldn't hold on the interludes. 

Those 3 hrs. were no more hidden.

3 yrs. later, he spent 3 hrs daily at the hospital.

All the lovable talks w/ death and the fire and night, had now turned to bootless counselling, painful treatments and bitter ointments.




But every night, when the lights went off and everybody slipped to their sheets; again when the moon arrived at the top of his head, he lighted his own world bright w/ smoke. 

Somewhere from his 'evidenced' diary, he picked up a cigarette and lighted it to gain some life. 

Hawking a cigarette and sitting near the window, his diary once again witnessed their conversation.

He is a chainsmoker; fluttering their every hope w/ smoke.




8 yrs. later, he lied still in a box.

The blooming flowers over his corpse.

Everybody standing in black, praying for him to the mains above.

They all giving fake speeches 'bout friendships and relations. 

He stood near his grave-smoking- talking w/ death and life-laughing, how fake the world is.

He was a chainsmoker; gone to a place from where he came.


~VARIA xoxo

"They are coming." The scared child said. His eyes reflecting the fear of his past.

"It's okay if they'll come. We are ready.

It's okay if they'll come again. Don't be scared, my boy.
They'll throw stones to break our homes; but we'll stay together. And we will fight. We'll fight back to win.
Let them come.
We are prepared; for the worst to come-it can't ruin our lives more.
We have no thing to loose; but the world to win.
Don't be scared, children.Your fearful past will be your weapon.



That pain will ruin them now. They can't climb up our walls. They will find no ladder to this place, ever.
The Almighty is w/ us. The war is here and soon the dawn will be too. We'll win-sooner or later, but we'll."
said the Queen, with fire to burn the evils ahead and the warmth to fight and stand on the victory mountain.
She knew they'll win, despite of the oblations.

She knew they'll reach there, though in pieces but yeah, they'll reach and she knew it.


~Varia xoxo

My friends said no.

They told me he's bad.

They warned me not to play.

But gambling w/ fire has been in my blood.

I was the Queen of my life. So I did what my heart told me to.

For my friends, I was still the girl who don't give a damn to guys. But it was too tough to hold on the spark that run in my body, when our eyes hook up in the middle of the class.

Heading down to my desk, I'd be checking him out for those seven minutes I got- his beard dripping elixir and his cheeks showing grace.
And when he runs his hand through his hair, I'd be gasping and pinching myself, to held on the overflowing thunder his one move generated in me.



I knew he felt the same.

I knew the fire was in him too.

"You've got an amazayn chance to boost up your score, gurrl!!"
somebody told me when I disclosed 'bout him.

I took it to be God's indications.

I let myself fall for him.

I broke the walls.

I cut the ropes and sailed the ship.

Slowly but soon, the glances changed to smiles and giggles. Talking in eyes, we told each other so many things w/o even spelling a word out of our lips. Finding ways to chatter at least once, became our daily goals.

I could feel the warmth in his soul while talking to him.

I could see the volcanoes burning in his eyes. His every touch burst love to every inch of my meat.

In the class, we sat two rows apart, but our souls dived into the oceans of love so deep that we lost ourselves in each others' eyes.

Soon the lil' talks changed to long texts. Moving 'round the whole school w/ bangs under my eyes but still smile on my lips was as mysterious to them, as he was to me.

We got to know more 'bout each other.
We enrolled ourselves deeper into this.



Don't know when long texts changed to rendezvous and when I got my wits, I found myself running my hand through his hair and loosing myself into his eyes.

~Varia xoxo

"you guys are ruling over our land."

"hey! Kashmir is ours!!"

"nope gurll.. you don't know the truth. stop talking rubbish when you know less than half of the whole matter."

"and what 'bout Baloch?"

"better we won't talk 'bout this matter ever again."

"i never started it. you initiated the drama."
                                                                                seen

Right from that day, we never ever talked again.
So strange, just how for a piece of land, a lovable friendship was broken. Just how I lost my crazy buddy 'cuz of undesignated screenplay.

Shaifali and Fahid have been together since the times immemorial. They met on internet, became friends, accepted each other's tastes and explored into each others' lives.
Chatting till late nights, they've developed a strange bond that was left unbroken by the borders separating their countries.



"I am a Pakistani."

Shaifali skipped a beat reading his text.

"umm.. I am from India."

"nice!" he said.

"yeah, ikr! btw, how was your exam tho?!"

And their chat went on. For a sec, Shaifali thought it will end forever when he'll get to know that she belonged to India.

Lying in bed and peeping to the bright moon, Shaifali wondered what Fahid would have been thinking when she texted him her nationality. Doesn't it affected any of his idea 'bout her?

"you know.."

"what?"

"you're special. you're my special friend!"

"wow! you're too♥  thanks btw, ahah! idk how i manage to receive special privileges everywhere!"

"gurll.. i told you, you're a really special person."

"umm.. special 'cuz i have graceful souls in my lives to perfect me!"

"we're surely gonna meet someday."

"yes! come here to India! i'll greet you at the station!"

"hey! you come here! we've got a direct train b/w Lahore and India. I'll receive you w/ immense respect and care.."

"nope. ik it'll be a 'no' when i'll ask my fam for an international trip. you come!"

"haha!! okayy i will surely."

"and i am gonna attend your Nikah for sure."

"ahaha i'll ask the Kazi to wait for you and then we'll begin the ceremony!"

"ahahah!!"

Talking to him was so fun!
While texting each other, they dived into the sea so deep that their hearts met, dissolving up the cracks their nationalities ever built b/w them.
For those hours, they forgot the conflict of Kashmir; 'bout the wars, strikes and everything.
What meant was if they are happy in their lives.



This was what meant the most.
This was what was most prior to them.

"nope gurll.. you don't know the truth. stop talking rubbish when you know less than half of the whole matter."

Those words still echoed in her heart highlighting up the inborn cracks this world ever built.

That was the time she woke up and her beautiful dream broke.
Looking 'round what she saw was conflict and quarrel b/w the two countries.

Lying in her bed, she peeped out of the window once again.

Looking at the calm and quiet sky she thought, if they could ever be so..

~Varia xoxo 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*am sorry if i ever hurt anybody. i apologize. that wasn't intentional. intentional was the message i wanted to convey, what the war is doing; how deep the cracks have grown. no country is damaged. the real bruises belong to love and humanity.

*PEACE.*

You said you love me. But I didn't deserve your touch. I refused to. Your love was so strong that it burnt my face. My beauty could never please your nasty deeds.

I was your dream; but you thought me to be worthless for anything. A green piece of paper bought you my end, which is still sold open in those streets.

I cared, and this is how you rewarded me.
I was lying in the middle of the crosswalk-

screaming.

crying;

covering my face 'cuz ik it was no more a thing to look at.

Somehow in the hospital, they saved me, but I lost my life.



I turned ugly for the world.
The flawless face that once walked proudly on the roads, is now hiding behind curtains.
Glancing on the mirror with the only eye I was left with, even the mirror yelled my pain.



But darling, you burnt my face, but somewhere my dreams were still breathing.
I still stand with the same courage, now even stronger, to face the world with my distorted face your love gifted me.
You thought that ₹15 acid bottle will ruin me; you were as wrong as your deeds; rather they built me fireproof.



And now I am ready; to fight and defeat you all.
You said am worthless, now you'll see that your 'worth' can't even buy my death.
Just look 'round and see my dear, the girl on whom you threw acid is on the top of the world and you, hah! you're still between those nasty streets looking to greet your end.

 Karma's a bitch, baby,
and it stood so true when you saw me succeeding on the T.V. and the guilt surmounted your heart that your soul wanted to leave your nasty frame.

                           Now say,
                                      who won?!



Saluting the Brave Hearts ♥

~Varia xoxo

His eyes reflected her grace, awakening the world to life. His eyes were of crystals, they used to say in his childhood; not even a single word was lie.

The colors were the reason behind her smile; though she was color blind. He thought himself to be useless and a waste of space. But who know what He had planned. Those crystals never aided him to see the world but for her, they bloomed the beauty everywhere. 

They both had flaws.

They both have got faults

The world didn't do anything but pity them. But they both were starving. starving for love.



They met their hunger when their eyes met.

Now they didn't need the world; but together they built their own.
A place between the stars, in the land of fairies, they rolled together over the golden grass fields. Their lil' sweet home, had a lil' mail box to greet giggles all the time. 
Someday filling the voids 'round with love, they reached at the top of the world.



Everybody saw them there.
surprised.
stunned.

hah! so strange what two blind eyed did what the bright world never can.

~Varia xoxo

yk.. things seem perfect in my life, but they aren't. I am just too scared to accept it. 'cuz I don't wanna loose. I am fighting alone. and am 'smiling' (bruhh!) . I crunch my eyes hard pretending to laugh out crazy not because it's all too bubbly; but 'cuz my feared that my eyes would spill the overflowing pain my heart keeps.



They say, your eyes show your soul.

 But darling, looking down into mine's you'll see burning volcanoes spitting lava and dancing demons- the chariots ripping out my skin to kill the hope left and dinning the kindness.



My eyes hold destruction.
There's no more love left.
No stars, no fairies or blooming flowers- no calm nights or the sparkling world you saw in them.
They destroyed it all. They seized those memories, those moments and gave immortal pain in turn.

No baby, my smile no more light this world. My giggles sign painful cries and fearful screams.
My happiness now render death.
My presence do not make it all perfect, anymore. But it turns the realm towards apocalypse..


~Varia xoxo

Has it ever happened to you? Glimpsing through something your precarious mind just realize unforeseen discoveries 'bout life?!

happens to me a lot.

I suddenly thought of the golden deer. yeah, that enchanting creature. I haven't seen him, but his name gives his description so beautifully that one actually feels to be there.
He would be soo delightful, so gorgeous that even Maa Sita fell in love with his charm.
His magnificent eyes and alluring grace would be so appealing. His enchantress grace would be so artistry that charm and elegance would be dribbling from his pleasing frame.

I unrevealed some pictures of such a precious creature and my heart's insisting your perceive.








It's 'bout the love...


...and the aftermath.





























~Varia xoxo

Really, sometimes I feel so guilty to belong to this mankind. like, what we have done to His fabrication. Just look around; the bloods and smears of hate are seeping into the talus. Even the infants are loosing purity and chastity.
Glancing 'round, it pins my eyes; and the condemnation reminds me of the sins I've never committed.
This world has been too harsh to me.
The fiend faking as swain, leaves pain only.

Like I thought you came here to heel my wounds but darling, hurting w/ daggers is no cure, is it?
Every time somebody falls in these deep eyes, somewhere it deepens the scars to bleed beseech again.

like waves get calm and calmer as the ocean gets deeper; and its easy to loose yourself in deep circumstances-let it be your eyes or the pain in your heart.

And it feels like, like quite dry sky w/ no birds except meat-eaters, hunting for your soul at the dusk.
and on the ground dear wolves are halting for you my love, for it to get dark and hound you down.

But the witless masquerade will never know that it won't get darker than your life.



like drowning near a cruise, but you can't scream. 'cuz they were the one to smash the aegis of your trust.
and seeing you still surviving will piss 'em off to hell, ofc.

But my dear, look around.

The island of love, faith and hope is there for you, still.

 

Some ppl "who 'mean' a lot in my life" (bruhh.. that's what they told me) has actually done nothing except bringing me to the lives of such beautiful souls and making me a part of this place (thanks! :|), for me to glance once, how is this world; how is God's creation, and what the 'humans' have done to it.
In my vocabulary, 'humans' means 'the descendants of humanity'  
huh! but the generations are loosing this term somewhere in the past ways. But who bothers to carry it home?!
The world cries oceans in death of devils; but the tears turns expensive for the angels.


Dear God,
Strange is this place.
Strange is your creation.
ik you didn't put me here to criticize it all but to adjust and move on. But the Almighty, You created me' yk the rules and regulations of this scene are not a part of my plate.
Moving from person to person, per kilometer, per mile, humans are moving ahead towards a 'bright future' leaving the 'torches' behind.
Dear God, to be frank,
did you forgot to put this thingy called 'justice' while making us?!
Like, ik some have it in their fate but those who need it the most are starving for it from eras!!
Like, dude, how can YOU be unfair?!

I've heard, 'life's unfair'; but they say You'll take care of your saints.
But they do omit that this life, this game, this arena, is all your creation!


Again, I ain't criticizing you God.
I am not.
I do Love You.
and I do Believe in You.
All my faith and hope and every breath belongs to You.

But bro, aren't we buddies, huh?!
Like since the day i breathed first, you've been here; like just here; right on the left side of my breast. and ik even after this time, you'll stay w/ me, no matter what.
That means we're gonna be together like forever, umm.. actually even after that!
so.. why not be friends?!
Like we'll share our problems, our opinions, and my flaws. and from my lil' efforts and yours' major, someday we'll make this world some place where we can chill out together; w/ no worries in our heads, no pains in our hearts, no teras in our eyes; but the lights in our eyes, only smiles and crazy laughs and crackles.



I'll have patience for that time bro, and I'll work.😏 This time, am gonna work w/ chu.. at you're side. 😉
♫'Demons never bothered me anyway!'♫
ahaha!!
Hakuna Matata!!